Lumberjack

Sunday, May 14, 2017

Vivid dreams

3/5/2017

I woke up wide awake at 4am this morning in tears from a nightmare.  We find out on Monday if the transfer worked so it's been on my mind a lot.  In the dream, it was Monday and the phone rang and I tried to let it go to voicemail so I could keep the message to share with Nate when we got done with work that day.  Somehow I had answered the phone and Tracy (my nurse) was on the other line.  I tried to explain to her to call again but all of the sudden I was in the office and my mom was there talking to Tracy.  I was trying to avoid the result and I looked at my mom and she said, "ah that's too bad". And then I knew it didn't work.  I woke up devastated and hopeless and couldn't go back to sleep.

Oddly enough that same night around the same time, Nate had a bad dream too and woke up.

I am terrified for tomorrow.  I don't know if it worked and maybe it's the progesterone injections that ar making me more emotional.  I have some good bruises on my injection site now and it hurts a little.

I just hope it's not all for nothing.

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